CAROLIE

Tuesday isn’t even over yet, and it already feels like it’s been a long week. 

Eating 年糕 while doing my homework. Thanks, mother!

Let’s make this happen :)

ANTH 160 term paper, 8-10 pages

ARTH 160 revised paper proposal + outline

ARTH 176A group paper, 5-6 pages

Founder’s Day invites to print/assemble/label (ask sistar to do it…)

FML.

I’m good to graduate next semester. I’m done. But I declined the offer and am setting myself up for another year. I’m giving myself a year to complete my minor requirements, but truth be told, I’m also scared to leave.

I don’t think I’m ready to apply to schools yet. And I’m definitely not ready for rejection. I’m so over this semester, but I’m too scared to move on.

Everything is starting to close in on me, and I feel so overwhelmed.

I’m not eating, I’m not sleeping, I’m not doing much of anything except working. Working at school, trying to keep my grades up because I want to achieve the goals I set for myself this semester. Working at two jobs, five days a week, trying to keep up my energy and enthusiasm for my adorable kids.

It’s a lot. Four classes, twelve units, doesn’t seem like a lot…but it is. 25 hour work weeks don’t seem like a lot, but it is. It is when you’re a teacher. I work overtime preparing lesson plans everyday. I research theme ideas, worksheet ideas, craft ideas, every single day. It’s not just an office job. I need to be up and running with my kids. I need to be able to keep up with them. Every, single day. 

I didn’t realize all of this until just recently. I’m exhausted. Mentally exhausted, physically exhausted, emotionally exhausted. Everything. I hate complaining, I really do. But this is too much. I miss being my happy self. 

I need a break.

80/50. ‘Tis the lowest I’ve ever been.

Today, I…

- spilled jojoba oil all over my dresser, without realizing
- fell asleep during 176A, right in front of my professor
- blundered through all three of my exams
- drove to work while cramping (doesn’t sound like much, but trust me, NOT a good idea in my case)
- finished preparing the lesson plan for today, and then went home
- napped for FOUR hours
- woke up just in time to head to Meet & Greet
- mixed + mingled
- HOME
- phone w/ BIG
- me time

It’s been a very long week + day.  

w/ Awake tea + (not enough) honey.

MONDAY/WEDNESDAY/FRIDAY: 
3:00-6:30 Agape
7:00-9:00 tutoring

TUESDAY/THURSDAY:
9:00-2:45 four classes, back to back
3:00-6:30 Agape

It might not seem like a lot, but it’s quite a bit overwhelming to me. This doesn’t take into consideration my homework/studying time, chapter meetings, upcoming committee meetings, service hours, the time that I spend making lesson plans for the kids, shopping for the kids, etc. 

All in all, I’m expecting a busy semester. At least I’m making good use of my time.

The usual corner.

All day, every day. 

):

My list for the week:

- version 1 of research paper due
- 101 midterm
- 193A readings
- 175 readings
- 175 portfolio due
- 193A midterm
- banquet materials + supplies, banquet homework
- AEN?
- work, work, work 
- lunch date with AVO
- date with d.messer
- birthday gift for 小小 

I can’t wait til spring breaaakkk. 

and determined to finish all of my unfinished homework.

I refuse to sleep until I finish everything on my list. Coughs, please go away.