CAROLIE

Tuesday isn’t even over yet, and it already feels like it’s been a long week. 

Eating 年糕 while doing my homework. Thanks, mother!

);

Everything is starting to close in on me, and I feel so overwhelmed.

I’m not eating, I’m not sleeping, I’m not doing much of anything except working. Working at school, trying to keep my grades up because I want to achieve the goals I set for myself this semester. Working at two jobs, five days a week, trying to keep up my energy and enthusiasm for my adorable kids.

It’s a lot. Four classes, twelve units, doesn’t seem like a lot…but it is. 25 hour work weeks don’t seem like a lot, but it is. It is when you’re a teacher. I work overtime preparing lesson plans everyday. I research theme ideas, worksheet ideas, craft ideas, every single day. It’s not just an office job. I need to be up and running with my kids. I need to be able to keep up with them. Every, single day. 

I didn’t realize all of this until just recently. I’m exhausted. Mentally exhausted, physically exhausted, emotionally exhausted. Everything. I hate complaining, I really do. But this is too much. I miss being my happy self. 

I need a break.

80/50. ‘Tis the lowest I’ve ever been.

Today, I…

- spilled jojoba oil all over my dresser, without realizing
- fell asleep during 176A, right in front of my professor
- blundered through all three of my exams
- drove to work while cramping (doesn’t sound like much, but trust me, NOT a good idea in my case)
- finished preparing the lesson plan for today, and then went home
- napped for FOUR hours
- woke up just in time to head to Meet & Greet
- mixed + mingled
- HOME
- phone w/ BIG
- me time

It’s been a very long week + day.  

MONDAY/WEDNESDAY/FRIDAY: 
3:00-6:30 Agape
7:00-9:00 tutoring

TUESDAY/THURSDAY:
9:00-2:45 four classes, back to back
3:00-6:30 Agape

It might not seem like a lot, but it’s quite a bit overwhelming to me. This doesn’t take into consideration my homework/studying time, chapter meetings, upcoming committee meetings, service hours, the time that I spend making lesson plans for the kids, shopping for the kids, etc. 

All in all, I’m expecting a busy semester. At least I’m making good use of my time.

I’m definitely enjoying my last two weeks with the Ladybug kids. I’m going to miss Ladybug when it closes ): 

One of the things I’m really going to miss is coming in at 8:45 in the morning to an empty classroom. I go in, turn on the lights, and start on my breakfast while preparing my lesson plan for the day. It sounds so simple, but it never fails to excite me. Oh, my adorable kids. I can’t wait for our party next Friday. I’m already planning out what goodies I’m going to be bringing them :)

DINNER last night at my boss’s house. Most of the co-workers made it, and I brought Connie with me, but Kathy had to leave early ): ): ): We didn’t even get a pictureee. I’m sure she had a lovely time at the wedding though!

We had ourselves a Vietnamese dinnerrr. Good food all around. Bea’s Hello Kitty waffle maker made me die a little inside. My Hello Kitty sandwich maker would like some company, thanks. The pandan waffles were a hugeee hit with the girls. And the chocolate fudge cake pops were favorites of 小小 and 点点. Cuties.

It was so nice getting to hang out with the co-workers and our boss. We definitely need more of these nights! 

I LOVE MY JOB.

10/10 of my kids slept today. 

Even Gisele, Sarah, and Jessica eventually drifted off to sleep. 

Still, I am speechless. 

I love my little Butterflies. (:

As of this week, I’m on afternoon shifts. Every day. 

MEH. I liked my morning shifts better, but it’s not like I have much to do anyway. It was just more convenient to make plans with people if I had my afternoons + nights off. I really miss teaching at Ladybug though. I guess I grew pretty attached to it and thought of it as my haven. It was small and our kids didn’t get to go outside and play (not that it matters right now since they’d all probably get heat stroke or something in this weather…), but it was my own and I felt comfortable there. Butterfly is definitely second choice for me though. I love most of the kids there most of the time, haha. And of course, Maya’s there. I’ve been at Agape almost as long as she has. I remember when she and her parents first came to check the place out. Loved her from the moment I saw her. Yeah, I know I shouldn’t have any favorites, but I really can’t help it with her. She never ceases to amaze me. She’s the youngest one at Butterfly, but seems so much more advanced than some of the other kids. It’s amazing how much she’s growing. I remember when I could barely understand anything she was saying, and how she used to be super aggressive with the other kids. Now she can speak pretty fluently in both Chinese and English, and she’s getting along so much better with the other kids now. Her parents definitely play some part in this. I love how they encourage her to speak in all THREE languages and how supportive they seem to be. It must be hard taking care of such a hyperactive little girl, but her parents seem wonderful. I especially love chatting with her mom when she comes by in the mornings/afternoons. She treats me differently than the other parents and makes conversation with me, which I enjoy. I can’t wait to see Maya’s future brother :) Oh Maya. I’ve always thought of her as my little girl at Agape. Haha. I can’t wait to continue watching her grow.

Work today was so fcking messed up. I still get pissed whenever I think about it.

Basically, I think I got “fired” today. Or rather, I got “let off” because they “already have too many people working in the afternoons.”

WTF kind of reason is that, especially when you JUST hired two new people. You shouldn’t have hired them then. So basically you’re giving THEM MY job. GREAT. Thanks so much.

And the way she said it made it sound like it was a good thing. “You don’t have to come back til August.” Well yippee for me. I would have been so screwed over and supremely pissed if I didn’t have the daycare job.

THE FCK I’m going to go back to you in August. You think I don’t have better things to do than to be unfairly treated like this? I have better shit to do and better jobs in my hand right now. 

On another note, I started my job at Agape today. Cheered me up a lot. I can’t believe I get paid $8.50 to watch and play with adorable kids all day. (: These kids are already growing on me. SUCH CUTIES. I’d pick this over Yogurtland in a quickness. Bella and Patrick are so freaking cute! Sarah too! WE GOT BUBBLESSSS. HELL YEAAHHH. Hahaha. I can’t wait to see them on Thursday! <3

OH, AND I got complimented on my nails TWICE today. No one could believe that these are my real nails and I did the French tip myself. I feel very proud of myself, THANK YOU VERY MUCH :]

I haven’t real posted in a long time…

ANYWAY. To sum up my last few weeks….

DAVIS with the `fish two Saturdays ago! LONG DRIVE. But fun (: Got the studio. Thanks to Andrew for showing us around!!! And Harry too! Lunch was super yummyyy. And made us full til we got home o_o 

CARMEL + MONTEREY last Saturday! Suuupppperrrrrr fun! WHY do I not go to Carmel more often? The beach is seriously freaking gorgeous! The whole town/city is beautiful! Spent most of the day there in the lovely weather. Sooooo many people + plus their dogs at the beach. Cuteness all around (: We wandered around for a bit and found lots of cute little shops and such. Tanned at the beach for a while. Hahahha. Left at night to go to Monterey for dinner! Walked around Fisherman’s Wharf and inspected all nearby restaurants x) We ate at this restaurant called Louie’s. YUM. (Fatties…..hahahha) Slept most of the way home :] 

Hung out with Cindy today! YEE! FINALLY. Went to visit Lee, but HE WASN’T THERE. SADDDDD. So we just went straight to lunch instead. Erik’s! Of course (: I got the Turkey Walnut Pesto this time. It was pretty good, but my bread started falling apart toward the end. I think I’m gonna try it with a different bread next time… Chilled at her house until it was time for her to go to work. I didn’t have to go to work today, so I tagged along. Saw Bea! And her daughters! Eunice…..hahahaha. The kids are pretty cute. And well-behaved most of the time. They’re not too hard to handle. Hopefully. HAHA. And Sarah is just a little bundle of cuteness. I can only understand about 10% of what she’s saying. But cute nonetheless. All her girls look alike! CUTE.

I was supposed to go to my 10:30 class today, but I woke up at 11:20. SO MUCH FOR THAT. Haha.

I woke up once, around 9:30. When DanDan knocked very loudly on my car. To tell me to have a nice day. HAHA. THANKS. (:

Finally finished my design midterm. Dx But now I need to catch up on the two chapters that I have going on. SIGH. ALMOST THERE.

Headed over to Yogurtland after work and met Sarah. We talked and I waited for Kevin to come in to work. YAY! We had a good time chilling. :]

Pretty much the first time I’ve ever worked a shift with another co-worker.

Yay, for getting to work with Kevin!

We talked a lot, especially about work and finding new summer jobs?! We shall seeeeee. It was super fun though! I just wish we had more of these double shift things going on. Maybe in the summer??

I hope you liked the cheesecakeeee!